Note: this article is full of sarcasm and is based on stereotypes. Please do not take any of this seriously.
Psych: One THC study poster and you were in.
Global Affairs: On the world peace to McKinsey pipeline.
(EP&E) Ethics, Politics, & Economics: DS freshman, sounded cooler than econ.
History: Often thinking about the Roman empire.
Computer Science (and any CS joint): Body odor doesn’t phase you.
Cognitive Science: CS, but you didn’t want to take 323.
Linguistics: ChatGPT made your major cool.
MCDB (Molecular, Cellular, and Developmental Biology): Pre-med.
Neuro: Pre-med on hard mode.
Biochem: Somehow, not premed.
Philosophy: Getting hammered and debating existentialism. AKA, part of the YPU.
Music: “Oh I’m not that good at <insert instrument>.”
Theater: On the road to SNL.
Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies: Ready to graduate Summa Cum Laude.
English: Living the Rory Gilmore life.
Political Science: You follow The Hill, 538, and CSPAN religiously.
Math: Future Jane Street intern, you read more letters than English majors.
S&DS (Statistics & Data Science): Math, but “practical”.
Architecture: You regularly pull all-nighters in Haas.
Urban Studies: “Not Just Bikes” Youtube subscriber.
Physics: You’re really smart (I am not a physics major).
Astrophysics: Likely, really smart. And want to work at SpaceX.
EP&S (Earth and Planetary Sciences): You rock that Club Geo mug.
<Insert Language or Area> Studies: Getting that language certificate.
Art: Doubling with some other major.
Ed Studies: Wishing this could actually be your major.
Environmental Studies: Making up for how not carbon-neutral the rest of Yale is.
Classics: You can actually read the artifacts at museums.
Humanities: You actually came to Yale to study liberal arts. And have wild Spotify playlists.
Comp Lit (Comparative Literature): Like seemingly half of Yale, you’re a polyglot.
Anthropology: Tired of hearing people say “oh yeah I read Sapiens!”
Film: Over-serious Letterboxd film critic.
Econ: You attend Yale.